Join us for coffee as we interview one of our SPELLIFE founders: Jill Ciccarelli Rapps. Jill is a certified financial advisor CFP, Partner at Ciccarelli Advisory Services, an IPEC certified coach and is the co-founder of A Euphoric Living Foundation and the SpelLIFE Women’s Wellness Summit. In our conversation, we discuss how our “unconscious mind” has an impact on our money and our financial behavior. Experiences and intrinsic traits contribute to our money management techniques, which can influence our ability to take or avoid monetary risks. We all have different money personalities that influence how we spend and save money. We uncover techniques to recognize these filters and limitations to attain “money harmony” within our relationships and unlock our full financial potential. 

 

Key Takeaways:

• Today, we are discussing the “Financial” domain of SPELLIFE

• Our unconscious mind has an impact on our money—and our closest relationships

• All of us have our own home-made lenses based on the experiences and values and assumptions that we have in our life, which can influence our money behaviors

• Certain financial situations can induce a fight-or-flight response vs. rationalizing

• Recognizing past experiences and emotions that influence our financial behaviors is the first crucial step in achieving money harmony

• There are 5 distinct money personalities that drive peoples’ financial decisions: spender, hoarder, amasser, avoider, and money monk. (per book by Olivia Mellan)

• Understanding your money personality can help you be more conscious in your money decisions independently, and communicate about money more efficiently with your partner.

• Being in “financial harmony” means that you are a good steward of your money and make decisions to help money bring you joy

• Financial planners help by taking you through various steps to creating a great financial plan that aligns with your life and bring you money harmony

 

Resources:

• Book by Olivia Mellan: Money Harmony: A Roadmap for Individuals and Couples (Timestamp 10:48)

• Olivia Mellan Moneyharmony Quiz: www.moneyharmony.com (Timestamp 25:00)

 

Suggested Key Words

 

Read the Full Transcript Here:

00:55 (JILL)

Mmmm... that first sip of coffee is so good. This is Jill and Gaynell. Welcome to our SpelLIFE Podcast!

 

01:04 (GAYNELL)

Good morning, Jill. I am so excited to tell you that our sister Debi gave me a ton of coffee, Italian coffee that she is no longer using with the new coffee pot she got so I am set for like 5 months of good, hardcore, Italian coffee.

 

01:20 (JILL)

Ok, does this mean you’re inviting me over for coffee? Because I usually have to make coffee for you.

 

01:25 (GAYNELL)

No, because it still doesn’t beat your coffee machine. Sorry!

 

01:30 (JILL)

Well, should we get down to our conversation today? We’re going to talk about, or actually we’re going to meet, our unconscious mind. And it might be the most significant acquaintance we make all year long. Actually, what we’re going to talk about is how our unconscious mind-- what kind of impact that has on our money. And how it might be straining our closest relationships. I’m also going to cover some resources that will help us break free from these limitations and create new possibilities when it comes to handling our money and essentially attaining money harmony with our relationships. 

 

02:11 (GAYNELL)

So, Jill, what you’re saying is we’re going to talk about the finance in SPELLIFE? What do you mean when you say “money harmony”? What does that mean?

 

02:20 (JILL)

That’s a good question! 

 

02:21 (GAYNELL)

Of course it is

 

02:22 (JILL)

Well, the first thing that I want to talk about is that all of us have our own home-made lenses based on the experiences and values and assumptions that we have in our life. And it’s almost like we all have different pairs of glasses on, they’re different colors, and we see things in different ways. And either these glasses limit us (like tunnel vision) or they expand us (like a prism). And most people are totally unconscious about these filters. In fact, they happen just automatically throughout your whole life and many times they can be very good, or they can hold us back from our full potential. What most people don’t understand as well, is that these filters have a lot to do with your financial behavior.

 

03:12 (GAYNELL)

Huh. What do you mean “these filters”? Can you talk a little bit about more these filters? You’re like getting beyond me. 

 

03:18 (JILL)

Well, yeah. I’m going to go back to, way back to the beginning of our existence and talk a little bit about—everybody understands “fight or flight”, right? When something happens around us we think that it’s detrimental to us, we want to either fight or flight. That’s how we feel. And when our brains are in danger, what actually happens physically is that our amygdala lights up in our brain. And it can take several minutes before we can actually rationalize what is happening-- we just want to fight or flight. So, our brains are automatically filtering for anything that could possibly be harmful to us and it’s constantly trying to protect us. So, that’s really what it comes from is these “filters” help protect us, as we think we’re in some type of danger.

 

04:09 (GAYNELL)

So, financially, what would cause like a “fight or flight” situation? I don’t understand. I mean, I could see if I see a bear in the woods, I’m going to want to, like, fight or flight immediately. I’m not going to want to take minutes to process what I’m going to be doing from that.

 

04:23 (JILL)

And that’s totally right. You don’t want to be rationalizing all your different options, right? When you’re in front of a bear you just want to run. Right? Well, one example of that—and this is just something that we could easily talk about because it just happened—is the market drops dramatically

 

04:38 (GAYNELL)

Oh, yes. That was quite… yeah, stressful. 

 

04:40 (JILL)

And when the market drops, it’s very difficult—believe it or not— for people to make rational decisions. What’s the first thing they want to think about?

 

04:48 (GAYNELL)

Uhh… sell it? Before they lose more money?

 

04:50 (JILL)

That’s right. Pull my money out of there! And that may not be the best decision.

 

04:54 (GAYNELL)

Put it back under my mattress

 

04:55 (JILL)

Yeah, exactly. So, that can be a good example of how these things can work in our brains and maybe not allow us to make the best decisions. 

 

05:05 (GAYNELL)

Got it. Can you give me some more examples of when, you know, stress comes when it comes to my money?

 

05:12 (JILL)
Yeah, you know I want to give a couple examples of some experiences that we all have when we’re growing up. They may or may not seem very significant, but they actually have a very powerful effect with us when we deal with money or other things in our life. 

 

05:27 (GAYNELL)

Okay.

 

05:27 (JILL)

So, I heard a story from a friend of mine the other day—and I never heard it before—but he was talking about how he dealt with money. And he said when he was smaller, him and his brother were playing in the living room. He’s 4 years old and his brother is like 6. And his brother runs out of the room into the kitchen and he sees his mom’s pocketbook. And he’s like “ooh, that looks like fun”. So, he grabs the purse and goes back into the living room with his brother and starts pulling everything out of the pocketbook. And my friend is saying, “Hey! You better not do that! Mom’s not going to be real happy with you that you’re pulling everything out of her purse!” And the brother is just going crazy and all the sudden he pulls the wallet out and there’s a bunch of money in there—and this is like super exciting. He starts to pull out all these 1’s and 5’s and they’re going all over the floor. Meanwhile, my friend is getting really anxious. And just within two seconds his 6-year-old brother runs out of the room and at the same time his father comes in the other door. And what does he see? He sees my friend sitting on the floor with the purse and the money all over the place, on the floor. And his father yells at him and says, “This is a very bad thing! You never want to be pulling your mom’s wallet out and playing with money that’s not yours!”

 

06:43 (GAYNELL)

Aww

 

06:44 (JILL)
Yeah, so he wasn’t real happy. He was trying to tell his father that it was his brother that did it all—you know how we used to blame each other?

 

06:50 (GAYNELL)

Right!

 

06:52 (JILL)

And so, you know it was a bad day for him. But he never really thought about that experience again. But what happened throughout his life as he was making money decisions is he always felt bad when he had money. Why? Because his father told him it’s not a good thing to have money and to take his mom’s money. 

 

07:10 (GAYNELL)

Yeah!

 

07:11 (JILL)

So, if he did earn money, he used to give it away. And if he didn’t have money, he felt bad. 

 

07:18 (GAYNELL)

I need to meet this guy!

 

07:19 (JILL)

So, all his life, he really had a hard time managing his money. 

 

07:22 (GAYNELL)

Right.

 

07:23 (JILL)

And, honestly, he never thought about that experience until later in life. And he realized that was a filter, an experience that really had a big effect on how he manages his assets. So, he recognized that-- that was the first step. 

 

07:34 (GAYNELL) 

Wow, so I never thought of that. I mean, I always thought of emotional responses being a result of our experiences growing up. I never thought of that in our financial responses too!

 

07:49 (JILL)

Yeah! Not too many people do. And it certainly plays a big part in, actually, how we make our decisions. I mean, when you think about it, have you ever had that experience-- or know a friend that’s had this experience-- where they’re kind of depressed and they’re having a tough day and the first thing they think about is “let me go shopping!”

 

08:05 (GAYNELL)

Oh yeah! Go buy something! Make ya feel better!

 

08:08 (JILL)

Because shopping’s going to make me feel better. And, of course, it does! Immediately. But, after that it doesn’t last very long. Or, you know we see people that are just so risk tolerant. Like, they don’t mind taking risk. They love roller coasters and things like that-- it makes them feel good. 

 

08:25 (GAYNELL)

Right.

 

08:26 (JILL)

So, they literally buy things in the market all over the place—very risky. And they lose money a lot. But to them, you know, that’s something—

 

08:34 (GAYNELL)

Well, if they have it, I guess it’s okay

 

08:35 (JILL)

IF they have it, and many times they don’t. 

 

08:38 (GAYNELL)

Yeah..

 

08:39 (JILL)

Or, you know, a lot of times we run across—and this happens specifically a lot with women—is that they feel really guilty when they make a big purchase. 

 

08:46 (GAYNELL)

I hear that!

 

08:49 (JILL)

And, you know, that really comes a lot—believe it or not—but they feel like they’re going to be a “bag lady” someday. Like they’re money is going to be gone, right?

 

08:56 (GAYNELL)
Yes! Yes. 

 

08:59 (JILL)

And they may have plenty of money, but it doesn’t matter. They always feel guilty.

 

09:00 (GAYNELL)
Right.

 

09:01 (JILL)
So, those are some emotional responses, you know, we see quite often with money. 

 

09:05 (GAYNELL)
So, how do we know when we’re thinking rationally or limiting our money decisions?

 

09:11 (JILL)
Well, I think the first step is really recognizing some of these emotions as you have them. And it’s not an easy thing, because when you start recognizing it, you start to really kind of… you know, it becomes heightened, right? So, the first thing I would suggest is maybe just setting aside some time with a journal. And think about, when you’re handling your money, are there times that you are feeling guilty? Maybe feeling overwhelmed? Maybe even anxious? When does that happen when you’re dealing with your money? And as you start to write down these experiences, you’ll see that some of the stuff comes up like “oh, I remember a lesson my mom or dad told me” or “this is how my mom and dad dealt with money and I felt like I wanted to do it opposite, because it didn’t work for them” or you know-- whatever it is, these things start coming up.

 

10:04 (GAYNELL)
Yeah

 

10:05 (JILL)

And you start just writing them down, because all you’re really trying to do is write down anything that comes to you and begin to recognize them. 

 

10:12 (GAYNELL)

So, that’s where you and I are a little different, Jill. Because you’re great at journaling and I’m terrible at it. Truthfully, I don’t know if I would do that. Isn’t there an easier way for me to determine, kind of what my habits are so that I can kind of move forward without thinking about journaling all on my own and figuring it out myself?

 

10:29 (JILL)

Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, the first thing is, when you feel any of those feelings—whether it’s anxious, or overwhelmed, or joy—as you’re dealing with money, you just want to think about what’s going on. So that’s number one. But, number two, I really love the author, Olivia Mellan. She focuses on distinct money personalities in her book called Money Harmony. 

 

10:55 (GAYNELL)

Cool!

 

10:56 (JILL)

And she outlines 5 money personalities that drive people’s decisions. And I just thought it was a really easy and nice way to begin the process of recognizing your personality.

 

11:05 (GAYNELL)

Okay, now you have my attention. Because, THAT I can do. So, can you go through each of these money personalities real quick for me?

 

11:13 (JILL)

Sure!

 

11:13 (GAYNELL)

And I can maybe decide which one I am?

 

11:16 (JILL)

Guess what? I already know which one you are. But, we’ll talk about this.

 

11:19 (GAYNELL)

Oh, well okay Miss Know-It-All

 

11:23 (JILL)

So, uh, yeah! Let’s talk about them!

 

11:24 (GAYNELL)

Okay

 

11:25 (JILL)

One is spender. So, these people tend to drive great pleasure from putting their money to immediate use. Most spenders view money as a means of achieving short term gratification and happiness. So that’s kind of what we were talking about. 

 

11:36 (GAYNELL)

Well, that doesn’t sound very good.

 

11:38 (JILL)

Well, when you shop it just feels good, it’s short-term gratification. But it might be hard for spenders to actually invest money for the future long-term because they just want to spend now and just get that gratification. So, we’ve all heard of famous people who had billions of dollars and they die poor. 

 

11:54 (GAYNELL)

Yeah

 

11:55 (JILL)

Yeah? I won’t name them, but we’ve heard of them. Uhm, then there’s hoarders. So, they prefer to delay gratification in pursuit of long-term financial security. So, it’s kind of opposite

 

12:04 (GAYNELL)

That sounds kind of smart to me

 

12:07 (JILL)

Well, they actually have a hard time spending money. 

 

12:09 (GAYNELL)

Yeah, okay.

 

12:10 (JILL)

So, even on practical purchases. So those are the people that might feel guilty when they’re spending money or making big-money choices.

 

12:16 (GAYNELL)

Right. And, really Jill,  c’mon. What’s the point of making a lot of money if you can’t spend it and enjoy it? I mean, really.

 

12:22 (JILL)

Exactly. Yeah. And usually, we find hoarders have really well-defined goals and budgets, and they’re very conservative in their approach to investing. 

 

12:33 (GAYNELL)

Ah, okay.

 

12:33 (JILL)

They totally view money as key to stability and this is where some women come in that think they’re going to be bag women, right? So they want to hoard, hoard, hoard. 

 

12:42 (GAYNELL)

Are these the ones that have it all under their mattress?

 

12:45 (JILL)

Well, it could be. But, I’ll tell you what. Honestly, we’ve had a lot of women that they can’t even spend, you know, all their money. It would be impossible and they still feel like they could lose it all. 

 

12:56 (GAYNELL)

Oh my gosh, okay

 

12:57 (JILL)

So, it doesn’t matter whether you have a lot of money or don’t. You could feel guilty and be a hoarder.

 

12:58 (GAYNELL)

Right, doesn’t really have anything to do with it. Okay.

 

13:01 (JILL)

And then there’s the avoiders. So, they see every possible opportunity to procrastinate. They want to delegate their personal financial decisions. Do you ever know anybody like that?

 

13:12 (GAYNELL)

Uh, me!

 

13:14 (JILL)

So, you might be an avoider. Most avoiders want that simple button. You know that commercial with the simple button you just press it?

 

13:20 (GAYNELL)

Yeah!

 

13:22 (JILL)

 Uhm, so, financial avoidance is often rooted in feelings of uncertainty and anxiety that arises with money tasks. So, if you’re feeling a lot of anxiety, it’s possible you could have some attributes of avoider.

 

13:33 (GAYNELL)

Okay, I don’t think that’s me. Okay.

 

13:35 (JILL)

Okay. So, then you have amassers. So, if you tend to be a money amasser, you are so happy when you have large amounts of money at your disposal to spend, save, or to invest.

 

13:47 (GAYNELL)

Oh, that sounds smart.

 

13:49 (JILL)

Yeah, well… if you’re not actually spending, saving, or investing, you might feel empty or not fully alive. So, it’s constantly about money. I have to amass more money so I can continue to do this. So you tend to equate money with self-worth and power. 

 

14:03 (GAYNELL)

Ohh, that’s not good.

 

14:04 (JILL)
So a lack of money could lead to feelings of failure and even depression. 

 

14:08 (GAYNELL)

Huh, okay.

 

14:08 (JILL)

So you could see how, as we go through this—and I got one more personality to talk about—none of them are good or bad. You’re not good or bad if you—they’re components. 

 

14:14 (GAYNELL)

Okay. You have components of both to them. Gotcha.

 

14:16 (JILL)

Exactly. So, the money monk, if you’re a money monk you think money is dirty. Okay, now this was kind of the story I told you about with this friend of mine.

 

14:25 (GAYNELL)
Yeah! Right. 

 

14:25 (JILL)

He really felt money was kind of bad and he shouldn’t have it.

 

14:29 (GAYNELL)

Right

 

14:30 (JILL)

So, these money monks—they just don’t want to have too much money. They think it’s going to corrupt them.  In general, these people think money is the root of all evil. 

 

14:39 (GAYNELL)

Awww

 

14:40 (JILL)

So, it stands to reason that you identify with people of modest means rather than those who amass wealth. So, they tend to hang out with people that have very modest means and, if they happen to come into a windfall through an inheritance or something like that, they tend to be very uneasy and anxious. So, you know, they probably avoid investing their money for fear that it might grow and make them even wealthier. 

 

15:07 (GAYNELL)
Oh my gosh! 

 

15:08 (JILL)

Isn’t that interesting?

 

15:08 (GAYNELL)
Yes! You know, I’ve heard kind of things when people like, win a lottery and they end up, like, not having a good life after that. Because they just don’t know how to deal with it.

 

15:17 (JILL)
That’s right, and a lot of that comes from those filters and those experiences that we’ve had in the past.

 

15:24 (GAYNELL)

Yeah, right. So, I’m saying if anything, learn what personality you are so just in case you win the lottery! You’ll know how to deal with it the best way.

 

15:31 (JILL)

Well, you know, is really that everybody has to know their money personality and understand this because it really is the very beginning to any kind of successful financial plan. And, actually, the reason I know your money personality is we did a quick test.

 

15:50 (GAYNELL)

Well, I was just going to say, “I know you tested me!” So, tell me who I am.

 

15:54 (JILL)

Yeah!

 

15:55 (GAYNELL)
Lay it out on the line for me!

 

15:56 (JILL)
Okay, drum roll… So,  when you did your test you did have a little points in almost every one of them. But, the two that were the biggest for you was amasser—so you like to keep your wealth and amass it—and a hoarder. 

 

16:12 (GAYNELL)

Well, aren’t those two totally opposites?

 

16:15 (JILL)

Well, not necessarily. I mean, the hoarder, basically, might come into play that you’ve had an experience in your past that maybe, you know, your money was tight or you had a difficult time with your money or you were fearful you weren’t going to have money. So…

 

16:33 (GAYNELL)
Those life experiences… Yes, yes, yes

 

16:34 (JILL)

Yes, so can you think of anything that you want to share?

 

16:38 (GAYNELL)

No

 

16:38 (JILL)

No? Okay. Well, I’ll share a little bit about mine.

 

16:43 (GAYNELL)

Okay

 

16:44 (JILL)

Now, mine was big under amasser. I had a big, large score under amasser. And I can remember when you and I were young, and we used to get allowances, remember?

 

16:52 (GAYNELL)

You saved every penny you had and I spent every penny I had!

 

16:53 (JILL)

That’s right, exactly! I used to just save, save, save but never spend.

 

16:59 (GAYNELL)
Yep!

 

17:00 (JILL)

Now, I am a spender too, which is interesting. Like you said, isn’t that opposite? You know, an amasser and a spender? My spender was a lot lower, so I don’t mind spending. But, I have to tell you, that when I make large purchases, even though I understand that I am dealing with emotions, I’m constantly questioning it. Like, “should I do something less expensive?” “Should I not do that and put my money over here?” and, you know, I’m just not feeling totally comfortable, and these are big purchases that I might be making, and I still go through that. So, now what do I do? I recognize it when it comes. I know that it doesn’t define me, and that’s the most important second step. Once you recognize these, they don’t define you. And, you can actually create any emotion you want around your money. 

 

17:48 (GAYNELL)

Right.

 

17:48 (JILL)

So, do you want an emotion of anxiousness?

 

17:52 (GAYNELL)

No

 

17:53 (JILL)

Does that feel restricted or expanding?

 

17:55 (GAYNELL)

Uh, restricting!

 

17:55 (JILL)

Yeah, how about the emotions of joy?

 

17:59 (GAYNELL)

Yay! I like that!

 

17:59 (JILL)

Expansion? And not restricted?

 

18:00 (GAYNELL)

Mmhmm

 

18:02 (JILL)

Okay, so what we really want to do is think about things that are going to expand us and give us more possibility. So, in many times, I’ll take something that I decide to make a big purchase and, like a big trip let’s say, that I’m going to take some family members or friends on, I might question it-- is that the right place for my money? You know, maybe I should do something else with it?— but then, I think about how important it is for me to have life experiences. And how important that trip is going to be because I’m going to get to spend quality time with my friends and family. Then, all of the sudden, that sounds pretty good. 

 

18:35 (GAYNELL)

Jill—that is so weird that you bring that up.

 

18:36 (JILL)

Why?

 

18:36 (GAYNELL)
Because I am planning a family trip this year with my kids.

 

18:39 (JILL)

Oh my gosh

 

18:40 (GAYNELL)

Absolutely, yeah. 

 

18:40 (JILL)

Wow, where do you guys think you’re going to go?

 

18:43 (GAYNELL)

I don’t know, we’re trying to find a place that none of us have been or experienced before. We’re thinking maybe the Grand Canyon, doing some hiking and some neat things, outdoorsy kind of things in the Grand Canyon. I pretty much want to stay away from big cities because it’s hard to do stuff together.

 

19:00 (JILL)

Yeah.

 

19:00 (GAYNELL)
Because there’s like, I don’t know, 9 or 10 of us. 

 

19:03 (JILL)
Wow

 

19:03 (GAYNELL)

Yeah

 

19:04 (JILL)
That’s going to be great. So, how did you decide what your budget was going to be for that? Like, what were you going to spend and how’d you feel about that?

 

19:08 (GAYNELL)

Well, I haven’t. 

 

19:10 (JILL)

Oh, because you’re a procrastinator? Kidding, totally kidding.

 

19:14 (GAYNELL)

No, yeah, I have to say that I can understand why maybe I would be an amasser and a hoarder, and all I can say is that I know people who have experienced having some financial wealth or security, and then losing that. And I see a lot of people in those situations, I think become amassers or hoarders. But, so let me as you this: So, once I determine what I am, how does this help me with financial harmony? What does that mean?

 

19:49 (JILL)

Yeah, so financial harmony, I mean there’s a lot of aspects to it, but I believe—you know—one is that you’re making good financial decisions, uh, for yourself and for your family

 

19:56 (GAYNELL)

But—harmony, where?

 

20:01 (JILL)

Harmony that you, literally, your money brings you joy. You’re a good steward of your money. So when you use your money, or wherever you use it, you feel really good about it and it really brings you joy.

 

20:15 (GAYNELL)

So, it brings me harmony within, but also harmony with my relationships with others?

 

20:22 (JILL)

Well, that’s a good… that’s a good aspect of it, Gaynell, because let’s say you are in a partnership or you’re married and both of you have different viewpoints and values and experiences, right? You’re wearing different glasses. And typically, believe it or not, money is one of the biggest reasons people get divorced or separated, right?

 

20:41 (GAYNELL)

Right, right. That’s what I was thinking.

 

20:43 (JILL)

And, really, a lot of that has to do with we don’t recognize that we have different filters on. We just think the other person is wrong. And we’re right. And it develops into arguments.

 

20:52 (GAYNELL)

So this is so cool! Because it reminds of “Love Language”, where it helps your communication in how you give and receive, you know, emotionally. This is kind of the financial “love language”. 

 

21:05 (JILL)
Absolutely!

 

21:07 (GAYNELL)

I think that’s pretty cool!

 

21:07 (JILL)

And it really helps you relate with your partner a lot more. And having more open and expansive conversation about your money and what you want to do with your money. And also, really, helping to kind of come in the middle because I think with every partnership that we deal with, you know, whether two people coming in for guidance, both of them have different things they want to do with their money. And the idea is that, well, what could we do that would maybe blend those things a little bit? So that each of you feel confident that you’re taking care of some of your money harmony stuff and it’s not one or the other.

 

21:44 (GAYNELL)

So that’s kind of what I was going to ask you. What I was thinking. So where does a financial planner come into this picture once you know your financial personality?

 

21:53 (JILL)

Yeah, that’s a great question. And, where the advisor comes in, you know, we try to ask several questions and get to know our clients very well so we can kind of understand what their past experiences have been. We might ask, “what’s the most important money lesson you have ever learned from being home, growing up?”

 

22:13 (GAYNELL)

Wow. So I mean, I’m learning that a financial planner is a lot more than just taking money and putting it in different accounts. 

 

22:23 (JILL)
Yeah, yeah. That’s kind of like the last step. Like, where do I invest my money? So, it’s a lot about…

 

22:28 (GAYNELL)

Wow, well I have a new respect for you, Jill. 

 

22:30 (JILL)
Aww, well isn’t that sweet! But it really is an extension of your life of everything you do in your life. Your money has to align with your most important goals of what you want in your life. And if it doesn’t align well, that’s when you get into trouble.

 

22:44 (GAYNELL)
Yeah

 

22:45 (JILL)
So, that’s where the advisor might come in, is to help you align with what’s most important to your life and really help your money support those things versus making wrong decisions that are totally opposite of your values, of what you’ve learned, or what have you.

 

23:00 (GAYNELL)

Right

 

23:01 (JILL)

But the other thing that an advisor can do, in a sense, is work with you over time. And, as an example, if we have somebody that’s afraid to spend—and I deal with that quite a bit—and I really have to help them spend. And help them feel good about their spending. So what I might do is start creating a conversation about what’s important to their life. If I find out that it’s their grandkids, then I start talking about, “What about taking a trip with your grandchild? Can you imagine what that would mean to them? That they would always remember it the rest of their life? What if, after they graduate, we spend some money on taking a trip and you ask your grandchild to actually design that trip and the two of you go on it? How would you feel about that?” You know, that’s a different way of spending…

 

23:45 (GAYNELL)

Yeah, so in spending, they’re giving. Not really for themselves.

 

23:48 (JILL)
Yeah, and they’re really aligning their spending to something that is super important to them in their life. And the more they do that, the easier it is for them to spend. But, if they don’t create that language or create that alignment, then it’s very difficult. They can’t make decisions, they’re overwhelmed. Those are the feelings of anxiousness and being overwhelmed.

 

24:05 (GAYNELL)

That’s amazing! So, I mean talking this morning, with our coffee, has totally given me a bit of an eye opener in where that “Financial” fits in SpelLife and overall wellbeing.

 

24:19 (JILL)
Absolutely.

 

24:20 (GAYNELL)

Because now I see, obviously financial can create a lot of havoc between relationships, it can create a lot of stress, a lot of distractions. Or, it can actually help to create harmony and wellbeing.

 

24:33 (JILL)
Absolutely. 

 

24:35 (GAYNELL)

Very cool. So, Jill, one more thing. We had decided that we were going to ask every guest a final question as to what our listeners can do to get started in that area. So, here’s my question to you: right now, today, what do I do to get started in my path to reach financial harmony?

 

24:55 (JILL)
You know, I have to say a real quick thing to do today, uh, Gaynell, and a resource would be to go to the website www.moneyharmony.com, and on that website you will see Olivia Mellan’s quiz that you can take. And I would say it takes about 5-7 minutes, so within 7 minutes or so you can find out which personality types you are. Remember, none of them are good or bad it’s just a matter of starting to recognize how you’re making financial decisions. 

 

25:22 (GAYNELL)
Okay, so that’s very cool. I have one more question because I’ve done that step now. Now what do I do? Do I go find a financial planner? Do I call you? What do I do now?

 

25:33 (JILL)
Oh my goodness, well, the first thing that I would say is as you’re making your money decisions every day now, for the next week or two, anything to do with your money, think about what emotion you’re feeling, how does it make you feel thinking about your money? So you can just start recognizing that. And, yes! There’s lots of steps. In fact, we should probably have a podcast just on the next steps. But, it would be, if you want guidance and you’re ready—yes! You should interview some people and find somebody that you’re comfortable with because they’ll start taking you through the various steps to creating a great financial plan that aligns with your life and bring you money harmony.

 

26:09 (GAYNELL)

Okay, well here’s the great story is I feel really comfortable with you

 

26:14 (JILL)

No fair, I’m your sister

 

26:14 (GAYNELL)

So we are getting together after this and developing my plan!

 

26:19 (JILL)
Perfect, I look forward to it!

 

26:21 (GAYNELL)
Alright, well thanks everybody for joining this podcast! Jill, chin-chin to coffee time!

 

26:26 (JILL)

Chin-chin! And, hey! If you have a friend or family member you think will get value from this podcast, we’d love for you to share it with somebody and, as well, we hope you can subscribe to the podcast so you’ll get all of our podcasts! Right to your home over your morning coffee! And, uhm, we’ll see you soon!

 

26:45 (GAYNELL)

Goodbye, and have a wonderful day!